Why You Don't Have to Get Rid of Your Stuff to be Powerful
As long as I can remember I have struggled with my “stuff.” You know: the icky, negative beliefs about myself. Until recently, I have never had any professional therapy. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression (although this therapist told me my narcissist mother "annihilated" me, but that's another story). I have never been abused and have never had a problem with addiction. But I can say that being in my head has felt--and sometimes still feels--like a prison. For me, the only way out of that prison has been my yoga practice [and the occasional truck-driver-type expletive]. And that is why I--together with my husband, Sean--have to open a Baptiste Yoga Studio.
Because we believe in Baptiste Yoga.
The process of opening a studio has been overwhelming. As I dive into worlds I have little-to-no experience with (iPhone apps can bite me), mini-breakdowns have become the norm. “I’m not good enough” shows up, and often. Challenge is super fertile ground for our story to re-root. What I’m learning through this uncharted territory is that this story is never really fully going away. Trying to make it go away will drive me mad. Instead, I can handle it differently. In my most recent mini-panic, I observed myself. I saw myself grab the bag of popcorn and plop myself on the couch for four episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. I saw myself avoid the tasks that scared me. I watched myself parent from a space of insecurity. In holding space for myself compassionately, I chose to interrupt that process. I felt my tools from my mat rising to the surface to help me move forward. I felt power and energy come back in. I felt the practice working.
Ironically, aiming to eliminate all our “stuff” is actually what keeps up powerless. It takes all our vitality to eradicate it. We don’t have to get rid of our stuff (Yay!). Instead, identifying it and choosing to stop it in its tracks so we can proceed with what we’re up to is how we break through. Being able to smile at my stuff instead of fighting it is nothing short of a miracle. And it is a result of Baptiste Yoga. And it’s one of many reasons why want to spread it like wildfire.
Like the practice, this work is hard and fun. Baptiste Yoga San Francisco will be a place where people can do the work and watch it create shifts they never thought possible. We’ll scare ourselves with just how powerful we can be when we get out of our own ways. When we interrupt our mind’s status quos with something more powerful. We commit to holding that space for each and every [insert truck driver expletive here] person that walks into the doors. They better bring their stuff.
This post was written by Jennifer Silvera, a Certified Baptiste Teacher based out of San Francisco. She and her husband, Sean, are opening the first Baptiste Yoga Studio in November 2015.